Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Decisions, Decisions!

On June 10, 2014, I was sitting in DLT (Disciple Leadership Training) for student support at BYUI when the thought came into my head "you need to rethink a mission." What? No... that is not in my plan. That is not apart of the going home in fall, working through December and returning to my studies in January. This isn't my plan. But this thought would not go away.  I was baffled.  I knew I had to reconsider it or I would be ignoring a prompting.  This was a prompting I seriously could not ignore.  So I thought about it, I prayed about it and counseled with my best friends about it.  I came to the shaky decision that I would do it.  It wasn't until talking to my best friend, Leslie, that I was 100% sure about serving a mission.  (Leslie is currently putting in her papers to serve as a missionary too!) 


Then came the time where I had to tell my parents of my new plan.  I was a little bit nervous of how they would react, but I knew they would be supportive, as they are in all of my endeavors.  I made the phone call and they were supportive! My plan was still to go home for summer break, start my papers and leave sometime in the fall. 

BUT THEN, this happened... 
Tuesday, July 1st

yeah, my heart about sank too... just when I thought I had everything figured out Heavenly Father said "nope!" I called my parents and counseled with them about my override for the fall.  Both encouraged me to stay in Rexburg.  I thought about it quickly and then started to frantically panic because I needed to register for classes and sign a housing contract, figure out parking and roommates, the list goes on and on.  I happened to be with Dennis and the time and he calmed me down which I am so grateful for. Sometimes I don't handle stress the best... go figure.  I accepted my override, registered for some classes, signed a housing contract and then had to go to class.  Sitting in Chemistry that day was literally the hardest thing ever.  I started to doubt myself and my decision to stay in the fall.  It wasn't apart of my plan.  I psyched myself out.  It didn't feel right anymore.  I began to email my apartment complex asking how to cancel my contract and the admissions office on  how to cancel my override.  I was freaking out.  Needless to say, I didn't get one thing out of that Chemisrty class.  

After class I had already been planning on talking to my academic advisor and admissions so I headed out.  I got reassuring news at admissions, no penalty for withdrawing my admission and then I went to the Academic Advising office.  The woman who helped me was absolutely wonderful.  She had previously served a mission and was in the same spot I was before she left.  She talked me through everything and made me realize that staying here in the fall is a good great idea and it will only benefit me.  I felt really good about my decision after walking out of that meeting.  I still needed the confirmation of the spirit though.  I couldn't do this without that confirmation.  

As I headed to lunch, I continued to ponder my decision and had a prayer in my heart about it.  At lunch I was still worried about my classes that I couldn't get into and I really just needed to calm myself down.   I headed to Devotional after lunch and it was an amazing talk by Julie Willis.  In the middle devo I just had this overwhelming feeling come over me that made everything right in my mind.  The spirit testified to me that "This is the right decision to stay in the fall, you are doing the right thing for you.  You need to be doing this, you need to serve a mission." Ahhh, I could finally breathe because I had my confirmation that I made the right decision.  Walking out of devo was the greatest feeling ever knowing I am pleasing my Heavenly Father. I know without a doubt that I need to be serving a mission come January.  I know that being here in the fall will benefit me and allow me to grow as a disciple of Christ.   I am grateful for prayer and that it allows me to talk to my Heavenly Father and get His counsel on everything I do in this life. 

After devo I decided to set up a meeting with my bishop immediately so that I wouldn't talk myself out of my decision.  I went to meet with him after dance class and I was so excited.  I thought for sure he would open my papers that night so I could start doing the tedious paper work.  Bishop didn't feel it was right to start my papers this early and I was a little bit discouraged because I am a go-getter and I wanted to get started now.  I also wanted to do all of the medical stuff when I got home over the 7 week break.  I figured I would just talk to Bishop Sheppard at home in my singles ward and see what he said.  I was happy to hear back from him so soon and he told me that I could complete my papers in the 7 week break while I am home! I am thrilled! I can't wait to get started! 

I have never been that girl that has said "I am going on a mission." or "I'm thinking about serving." or even "A mission is for me." That was never in my plan, but it has always been in HIS plan.  If this experience has taught me anything, and believe me-- it has taught me SO many things-- it is that I am in control of my life, yes, but Heavenly Father has the ultimate last say.  If I am obedient and follow the promptings of the Holy Ghost, I will be blessed.  I have seen that on a daily basis in my life.  I know that I need to have more faith in the Lord's timing and His plan for me.  He knows what is best for me, His daughter. 

I cannot wait to start my papers and receive my call! I know with all of my heart this is what I am supposed to be doing right now in my life.  I know this is what Heavenly Father wants me to be doing  with my life. My heart is full! I love the gospel of Jesus Christ! 



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