Saturday, September 6, 2014

Satan Sucks.

I am finally in the home stretch of my mission papers!!
I am meeting with my Stake President in two days.  TWO. That's it.  :) 

I could potentially have a mission call in THREE WEEKS TIME.  
HOLY COW.
Low key freaking out right now... 
JUST KIDDING ITS NOT LOW KEY I AM PRACTICALLY BOUNCING OFF THE FREAKING WALLS. 

HOW CRAZY? 

Only two months ago I decided to serve a full time mission. Amazing how time flies.. seriously I can't believe it has already been two months! In those two months so many good things have happened:
  • I finished my freshman year of college! 
  • I came home for the summer! (7 week break)
  • I opened my mission papers!!!
  • I traveled to Utah for Chad and Makayla Austin's wedding
  • Dennis visited California for a week! 
But satan has also been so real in the past couple of weeks.
I have come to realize who hard he has actually been working on me. 

When I decided to serve a mission I painted a target on my back.  
I knew that. 
I accepted that. 
 I am ready and able to fight back.
Satan WILL NOT WIN this battle.
I won't let it happen. 
He will not win.
I know the time before my mission is going to be the hardest because satan does not want me to go out and share the good news I have. 

But satan, you better prepare for some fat sucker punches to the face because that is exactly what I am going to give you.  





The past few weeks I have been struggling.  I have had continuous thoughts like:

 "I am not good enough."
"I don't know enough."
"I will be missing too much of my life."
"I am not going to succeed" 
"It's going to be too hard."
"You are going to miss your friends and family too much"
"A year and a half is way too long to be gone."


and the list goes on and on.  But all of that fear was satan trying to get me from backing out.  I recognized this, but I was still scared.  Some of those thoughts were satan trying to get to me, but some of it was my worldly fear.  Serving a mission is a huge commitment.  A commitment I am ready to make though! I will be giving my life for eighteen months to the people of wherever I am called.  I could not think of anything greater than that!  


After all of these thoughts I was praying fervently that I would feel some comfort in the confusion satan was causing me.  Heavenly Father is amazing, let me juts start there.  My prayers were answered ten fold of what I needed.  

HOLY COW.  I honestly thought to myself: 
"WHY DID I NOT PRAY FOR THIS EARLIER? WHY DID THIS TAKE YOU SO LONG?"

But the point is, my prayers were answered! It was amazing to see how Heavenly Father answered them too.  

Jeff called me to pick him up from a party one night.  It was after he and my dad had gotten in an argument.  He had gone and talked to Bishop Cadden that day and received some wonderful counsel. While sharing what he learned from Bishop Cadden with me, I was able to bear my testimony on how much God loves all His children, regardless of the mistakes we all make.  His love is unconditional.  This opportunity to bear my witness to my brother was an amazing missionary experience and got me so excited to be able to go and share it with others! 

I went to institute on Wednesday, Brother Andre's class.  I LOVE HIS CLASS SO MUCH! I get so much more out of institute when I attend his class because I am anxiously engaged.  The spirit is ALWAYS there and teaches me so many good things.  Tonight the lesson was on the Plan of Salvation.  The same lesson we have all heard a million times.  It is also my favorite lesson.  I always find something new in it.  As I sat through that lesson I felt like it was tailored specifically to me.  I know it was too, because the spirit taught me things that were not being said in class. The Plan of Happiness is our reality.  We are living it!!! How amazing is that? Because I am a member of the church, I already have the light.  WHY ON EARTH WOULD I BE SO SELFISH AND NOT GO OUT AND SHARE IT WITH EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY BROTHERS AND SISTES!?  The lesson was eye opening.  Another answer to my prayer.  I got more and more excited! 

Thursday, I met with Bishop Sheppard to finally get these papers rolling and turned into SLC! We talked about how I have been struggling.  He had so much amazing counsel for me.  I know he is an inspired man! I don't remember what he said, but it brought me so much peace and was yet another answer to my prayer.  I love priesthood leaders! :)

Always, I have my best friend Leslie to talk to.  She is also going on a mission to PERU! I love having someone who is going through the same exact things to talk too.   The conversations we have are absolutely amazing and almost always about missionary work.  I love talking to her because we relate on so many levels.  The last few conversations we have had about missionary work have been so powerful.  MORE ANSWERS TO PRAYERS. 


Seriously, how do people go through life without prayer? It baffles me. 


So what I am trying to get across is that Heavenly Father is aware of ALL of His children and their personal struggles, including me! He hears and answers prayers.  Prayer is REAL.  I am so beyond excited to finally get a mission call in my hands and be able to serve the people of wherever I am called! I can't wait!


Satan only has power when we give it to him! DO NOT GIVE IN! You are stronger than you know! 



XOXO,
Madeline

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